Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
What the world needs
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just too little of."
Wrong.
What the world needs more of it back-biting, sharp tongues, and snide little comments... oh yeah, and don't forget mean sarcasm (we always need more of that). How else are people going to vent their feelings in such a way as to appear civil and keep up the appearance of being kind? You can't really be kind unless you hide how you really feel behind cryptic words. It is just cruel to do anything else.
How would I feel if someone told me what they were really thinking? I would be crushed because I would not know what to do. I mean, I know how to handle hidden meanings and subliminal messaging, but a frontal assault? That is just uncalled for. How dare you share your real feelings! How uncivilized you are to not cover what you really mean with layers of sarcasm and wit! That is just cruel and unusual. Feelings should be hidden until the annoyance is out of hearing range, and then everyone should know how you feel except the person who you are talking about. Don't you know anything? The only way that person is supposed to find out how you feel is either through intuition or the grapevine. What kind of a society are you trying to build here? Society can only thrive when it is built upon secrecy and propriety (a fancy word meaning no one is allowed to have emotions and opinions against the norm.)
Wrong.
What the world needs more of it back-biting, sharp tongues, and snide little comments... oh yeah, and don't forget mean sarcasm (we always need more of that). How else are people going to vent their feelings in such a way as to appear civil and keep up the appearance of being kind? You can't really be kind unless you hide how you really feel behind cryptic words. It is just cruel to do anything else.
How would I feel if someone told me what they were really thinking? I would be crushed because I would not know what to do. I mean, I know how to handle hidden meanings and subliminal messaging, but a frontal assault? That is just uncalled for. How dare you share your real feelings! How uncivilized you are to not cover what you really mean with layers of sarcasm and wit! That is just cruel and unusual. Feelings should be hidden until the annoyance is out of hearing range, and then everyone should know how you feel except the person who you are talking about. Don't you know anything? The only way that person is supposed to find out how you feel is either through intuition or the grapevine. What kind of a society are you trying to build here? Society can only thrive when it is built upon secrecy and propriety (a fancy word meaning no one is allowed to have emotions and opinions against the norm.)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
My friend had this on his Facebook, it cracks me up.
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans
and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children.
Suddenly, a man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes
with you, screams obscenities, praising Allah, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does tis
send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a
few days and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BA NG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds
of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips??"
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans
and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children.
Suddenly, a man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes
with you, screams obscenities, praising Allah, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does tis
send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a
few days and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BA NG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds
of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips??"
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Spring
I believe Spring is just a rural legend. I believe at one point it was truth, but now it is just a myth, a story told to children so that they are good. "If you are good and do all the chores I tell you to do, the nature fairies will come and make beautiful weather so you can play outside."
Of course, that is an all out lie. Fairies really don't care whether you do your chores or not. But, that is a common misconception, so it is forgivable. The whole premise about "Spring," now that is just uncalled for. Why tease little children with something they will never be able to know and have? Cruel, cruel parents.
We should all be realistic about the situation. Spring is a lie, and Winter is the only truth we shall ever know.
Maybe, if we sacrifice something to some other thing we will be blessed with the mystery that is Spring.
No, I don't think that will work. I have heard tales of Spring, and supposedly it was all about new birth, sacrificing is kinda the anti-thesis of new birth.
I know! We get a phoenix to come down and die in all its flaming glory, and then the phoenix, and the world, will be reborn from the ashes. I like that idea! The only tricky part is finding a phoenix that is nigh unto death. All the really old ones have already been reborn. Maybe I will ask my griffin friend if he knows of any. He has quite the "in" with the phoenixes. I think his cousin is married to one.
Of course, that is an all out lie. Fairies really don't care whether you do your chores or not. But, that is a common misconception, so it is forgivable. The whole premise about "Spring," now that is just uncalled for. Why tease little children with something they will never be able to know and have? Cruel, cruel parents.
We should all be realistic about the situation. Spring is a lie, and Winter is the only truth we shall ever know.
Maybe, if we sacrifice something to some other thing we will be blessed with the mystery that is Spring.
No, I don't think that will work. I have heard tales of Spring, and supposedly it was all about new birth, sacrificing is kinda the anti-thesis of new birth.
I know! We get a phoenix to come down and die in all its flaming glory, and then the phoenix, and the world, will be reborn from the ashes. I like that idea! The only tricky part is finding a phoenix that is nigh unto death. All the really old ones have already been reborn. Maybe I will ask my griffin friend if he knows of any. He has quite the "in" with the phoenixes. I think his cousin is married to one.